Escaping the city - France

Some recent notes on my walks outside of the city during the pandemic and 6pm curfews.

I woke up at 3am this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. It’s been a while since I wrote anything on this blog - well, because I hadn’t really gone out of the house too much to have anything to write about.

I’ve originally started recording my longer-hike trips here - but maybe I’ll include shorter excursions in nature too, to remember how I felt. And because for some reasons, these walks (however short) makes me want to write. Even if words don’t come easy - as it has been lately.

The part of France I’m staying currently has a 6pm curfew which means it’s been more difficult to do anything outdoors even after almost a year since the first lock-down. Recently, I took a few day trips now that it’s warmer.

I tried out rock climbing - I really like how relaxed the whole activity is - except when you’re actually on the wall - so maybe the contrast of the two states. I’ve always had fear for heights, and I’m still finding it difficult to completely trust the rope or my footing. But I do like the sense of being forced into the moment that comes with the fear. As a beginner, I’m mostly desperately holding onto the rocks with my dear life - constantly in a state of panic. I’m a panicky person in general where I tend to get stressed over the tiniest details of life, and have always been ashamed of my inability to hide it. The same happens when I’m hanging onto these rocks - and it’s not a pretty view to see a grown-up adult childishly panicking for doing things she chose to do.

But then, when I manage to surpass that, for some miraculous reasons, I notice myself back to being calm - almost in control (despite the reality suggesting otherwise). And this, feels pretty good. It’s a kind of a full-body alertness that’s 100 times more effective than 5 cups of strong coffee. It’s like your mind zooms in on the most important thing in front of you (your next hold on the rocks) and whooooosh, nothing else matters.

I hope I get to climb more.

I’ve also noticed myself wanting to live (and not just visit) closer to a place like this. These walks makes me question the fundamental set-up of my life - like where I live, who I spend my time with, what I spend my time on etc, as it usually always does.

I’ve also spent some time working with wood thanks to a friend who’s allowed me to do this. There’s something really soothing about working with something tangible, creating something physical that you can touch.

Creating something also makes me think about where things come from. What are the different types of wood? How are they different? Where do they come from?

For example, we re-used some ebony wood from black keys taken from old broken pianos. Apparently, they are dense enough to sink in water and you can trace back interesting history just by looking at Wikipedia.

Anyway, I think I’m ready to go back to sleep now.